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I'm Not The Main Character

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10th May 2004

4:01am: oh shit!
so I obviously neglected this journal and the accounts where the images were stored.

Fucking stupid disappeared pictures...

I'll give you something to look at soon, you 2 or 3 people that ever looked at this.

15th January 2004

4:07am: continued from below

I asked him who the CD was for. He said it was for this girl at work that he really liked alot.

I guess when someone isn't your boyfriend, they don't have to break up with you.

They are a really nice couple. They've been together for a year and a half now.
We've gone out for coffee and watched movies a few times. They're fun.

sometimes I think I've been traveling in circles

9th January 2004

4:32am: the practice boyfriend

He liked to fall asleep to records.
I had a hard time sleeping, so I'd lay awake smoking.

We never did anything, except that first night
that we made out and he told me that he'd had a
crush on me for a long time. The next morning he
explained that he didn't feel ready for a relationship.
But for the past few weeks whenever I came over and it
got late he would say "You can stay, you don't have
to sleep on the couch, you can sleep with me."
All we did was cuddle.

I liked him, but hadn't had a boyfriend in a long
time and felt like I didn't know what it meant to
have one. I thought of this as training or practice
for having a boyfriend.

One day I woke up and he was already out of bed.
I could hear him talking to his roommate,
asking him how to make a mix CD on the computer.

to be continued...

26th December 2003

6:55am: saudade

25th December 2003

3:32am: something from the old zine

12th November 2003



He'd spent years and years wanting it, but it was never really practical.

Seems fate was only making sure events and circumstances were getting lined up just right all those years.

The worst part was the middle of the chest,

the spot where the hard bone protecting the heart has no cushioning itself.

He clenched his teeth, but later said he was glad it hurt, made him feel like he earned it.

He kept admiring it in the mirror. I liked it, too.
I was just as proud as he was.

It felt like a big deal, being able to do that for someone I liked so much.

He said he didn't feel an endorphin rush or get sleepy or any of the stuff I said he might feel.
And he joked about how he didn't bleed and how that somehow translated to toughness.
I helped him get his shirt on over the bandage.

We had started the tattoo late, so the whole evening was thrown off, but we still drove up to Austin anyway.
He made sure there was music the whole drive.
It was nice to have someone in the passenger seat on the drive I'm used to making by myself.

We got to the show just in time to see the last song of our friends' halloween rock show.


We hadn't had time to get dressed up, you know, we were doing that huge tattoo all day. We were just wearing our normal clothes.

Someone yelled "Hey! Dorks!" as we walked by and he seemed puzzled.


That had happened to me before though on Halloween, back in college. I thought it was hilarious.

It was still funny, and kinda better this time.

11th November 2003

5:03am: so, my image host deleted my account. Still trying to find all my backups of the images that were posted... gimme a little time and the comics will all be back. And there is a new one ready to post, too.

22nd August 2003

3:31am: I made you a tapeCollapse )

19th August 2003


we'll both be princes
and this dog's a lion
I trapped him and trained him
now he never leaves my side.

16th July 2003



drop in anytime...

20th May 2003

5:15am: letter

19th May 2003

2:36am: ramen eatter

He didn't like his apartment. The door didn't fit right 
and he once got stuck inside. There were little kids playing
 outside and he yelled to them to help him get out. They threw 
their little bodies against the door until it finally gave. 
The kids immediately entered the apartment, and a little boy 
with a popsicle juice grin asked him if he could play his video games.
 "I don't have any," He told them. The children all reacted
 with disbelief.

12th May 2003

2:33am: waiting can make you crazy, but sometimes not waiting makes you crazy, too.

11th May 2003

12:28am: I like drawings
more than I like the real thing
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